Slurrin' Spence

Slurrin' Spence is an old alcoholic who awkwardly roams the streets, looking for lawyers to shoot.

General info
Tier: Street Level

Age: 89

Classification: Rootin' Tootin' Cowboy

Height: 5 feet 3 inches

Weight: 97 lbs

Abilities
Unlike many of his wild west cohorts, he doesn't possess anything special other than the ability to force opponents to follow the Fast Draw Rules. Because of this, he is considered one of the worst in the group.

Equipment
His revolver, a bottle of whiskey

Stats
Durability: Average Human Level

Speed: Below Average Human Level, Sub-Human reactions

Striking Force: Above Average Human Level, Street Level with his bottle

Lifting Force: Below Average Human Level

Destructive Force: Street Level

Range: Melee, Melee extended with his bottle, Several meters with his gun

Weaknesses
He can only fire straight to the right, as the arthritis in his arm is so severe that it prevents him from aiming forward. Due to his alcoholism, he often forgets to turn his body accordingly when participating in a fast draw.

Notable Attacks and Techniques
It's Been a Pretty Good Day So Far - ''Slurrin' Spence leisurely whips out his pistol and fires it with accuracy so poor that he fires straight to the right. If one were not aware of his arthritis and alcoholism, they'd think he's deliberately missing.''

Backstory
His grandfather was a billionaire, until he shot him and took the wealth for himself. He uses it to hire lawyers on the dime by the dozen just so he can shoot them. He hates lawyers and believes they're all going to hell for their sins.

Author's Comments
I wanted to show this old Wiiware demo to my friends called Fast Draw Showdown; a game that uses interactive live action cutscenes that emulate western-style revolver duels. The sheer stupidity of the cutscenes made for some great laughs that we'll never forget. Specifically, there was this one guy named Slurrin' Spence. You had a good 2 seconds to shoot him, and the instant he pulls his gun out, he accidentally fires it straight to the right. This made me and my friends laugh uncontrollably. RIP, Slurrin' Spence. You'll always have a special place in our hearts.

-ArbitraryNumbers