Lonk from Pennsylvania

His name is Lonk, and he's from Pennsylvania. He has a full-time job pooping in mailboxes, and he loves to eat zebra cakes. He loves his Link costume so much that he never takes it off, and his weapon of choice is a rusty machete that he found in the street one day. Due to a traumatizing childhood incident, he lost control over his facial muscles, and seeks to eradicate the cause of his tragic past with his own crappy hands in order to attain true peace of mind.

General info
Tier: Multi Solar System Level | Large Star Level

Age: 16

Classification: Lonk from Pennsylvania

Height: 3 feet, seven inches

Weight: 50 lbs

Abilities
Bombs, Candy dispenser, Crappy swordsmanship, Immune to mind-reading and brainwashing

Stats
Durability: Multi-Solar System Level | Large Star Level

Movement Speed: Mach 0.9 | Sub-Human

Reaction Speed: Same as above

Perception Speed: Same as above

Striking Force: Peak Human Level | Average Human Level

Lifting Force: Average Human Level

Destuctive Force: House Level | House Level

Range: Melee, Several meters via bombs

Key: Normal | With Zipper down

Weaknesses
-He's allergic to candy

-His zipper falls down constantly, which lowers all of his stats temporarily as he's busy trying to pull it back up

Notable Attacks and Techniques
omnomnom -''Lonk chugs a Pez dispenser. His allergic reaction causes him to projectile vomit over his opponent. He is dizzy for a few seconds afterwards. ''

Pennsylviinia -''Lonk puts on a viking helmet and charges at his opponent. If he lands the attack, he follows it up with a series of punches and kicks, all while screaming at the top of his lungs, delivering his best impression of Dovahkiin from Skyrim.''

PK Fire Alpha -''Lonk repeatedly spams a series of weak pyrokinetic blasts until he runs out of Psychic Points. He usually doesn't accomplish much with this move.''

Burning The Witch -Lonk leaps up into the air and drops a ring of weak bombs down on his opponent.